Friday, April 11, 2008

On my mind......

Well, here we are. Only a week left of classes and it'll be over for a beautiful 2 weeks or something! For some reason, the ends of semesters make me think think think. I suppose this probably happens to a lot of people, but it happens to me too, so I thought I'd write about it.

I think the centre of my big debate about what to do after this degree is finished is "how can I actually do something useful with my life". And please, please, noone say having babies is the best way to do that because that is NOT what I mean (though this is what my mother thinks it means to do something useful). I don't want to waste my life in a sunny office with a couple of plants and a never ending/never changing workload to shuffle through. As much as I LIKE sunny offices and plants and that kind of always-the-same work stuff, because it's easy and whatever else.

Grad school would be so much work. But what if I could do it? And, really, what if I could do it and I DIDN'T. I really don't want to move away and I really want to get something going here, like a house and whatever else, but what about grad school. Do I think I could do it? I really have no idea. I haven't the slightest clue what it entails. But really though, what if that's my chance to do something useful. Teachers do useful things too, though. I wonder how long an impact like that lasts though, and the thing I love most about tutoring is when you get to talk to them like a real grown-up person with interests similar to yours (which never happens because I tutor MATH) who actually care about what they're learning (hasn't happened yet, but I've felt close before. I will really know joy when someone thinks math is "cool" or something, which will probably never happen).

Anyways, I've been reading articles for my term paper for Soci 475 and thinking about how cool it would be to meet some of these people who wrote these papers. Specifically Morton Weinfeld. I'm pretty sure he works at McGill though, which is far away (and I'm not ridiculous, so clearly it won't happen). It would be cool to know what their lives are like.

Anyways, I think I might try and take a journalism class or two. Do they even offer that at U of C? I'm not sure. We'll see though. I'm really happy that I accidentally saved all my options until my last year though, so I can explore! FUN FUN FUN! :)

Anyways, I'll continue pondering while trying to get my term paper done without all of my resources that I stupidly left at home (gosh darn). Maybe that's why I ponder, because there's so many papers to do and I need something else to think about! :)


Natalie said...

Oooh, exploring sounds like lots of fun!!! I'm sure you will find something you love to do with your life.

Maybe you could pursue both teaching and grad school in different ways. Like, would Ms. Hardy let you sit in on a class or something/help out? I don't know... just a thought. I know you tried finding out more about grad school, and I hope you continue with that/it is more successful.

I feel lost too. I don't really think it has to do with end of the semester feelings though. I think it's more of, "hey university is winding down for me- what's the next step?"

Anyway, if all else fails, you could just have babies. :)

(I kid). <3

Louamonster said...

Oh I'm sure. Ha ha, I'm not really ;)...

I don't know if I'm just too stubborn while I'm here and when I'm done and I get a career-job thing I'll be all like, ah, this is great... we'll see though.

Ugh, no babies. We were just talking yesterday at work about how uncomfortable it looks to be pregnant. Never mind popping out one of those things and then having to keep it. Ha ha. No thanks... :)